How does it feel being the person someone is with but not the one they are in love with?

And of course you do know it. I hate it that it has really never been off my chest completely. But it makes us (us who have been there), for some reason have some hope that things are going to work. I still want you even if you do not want me. I love you even if you do not love. Does this really make sense? Letting it go is always the solution, to stop making yourself look like a fool, for you to go for what is meant for you. Deserving better I would term.

I mean you are there trying to fix someone who you are not meant to be fixing😖. You fix them by breaking yourself. I mean it really hurts, you are there trying to make them happier, whereas you are killing yourself😤. Giving them the light that you barely have .Sadly even after giving them all your light they don’t still see clearly.  I mean you’re in darkness why and how would they see you. I bet this is toxicity. Toxic at this pointbecause you have seen it and are aware you are not the one. You really never see the line until you are past it. You couldn’t see it even if you really wanted to.

You have given out all your strength, light and attention, and have none for yourself and now you are battling with yourself. You are really drowning😭. The waves really carry you but you are there waiting for the wrong person to help you😫. Trust me guys at this point you really do not see it at all. You have really overdosed yourself.  These are storms now. You are a hopeless romantic who can barely lift your head up and face the game. You try gather up the courage and end up plummeting.  Fuck, you are really shouting love me even if it pains you. While you are in your own slavery, guess what your love is going through?  Let me not even say it. So I still am trying to pick myself up, but gravity this time really fell in love me. I guess I had someone who was really down for me😂. It is in these blind folding moments you really start unfolding. You begin to see you are chasing fire.  This fire really starts burning. The flames are raging. Destroying all the flowers in you, they were dry so mind you this wild fire really spreading.

Your whole body lynched your brain, heart, mind, nerves. You are now immortal. These are now the SCARS. I really do not remember how I got myself from there. But I know how it felt. It was the darkest moments, crashed picking up my pieces, crying with no tears and no wails. Stumbling and stuuuuuumbling and was already paralyzed.  I really wanted to get out that hell and heaven. For the love I had for my love, I was able to walk again. If you love someone you let them go right? It is what most of you say. I did not actually do it for me. All for love! Vengeance is normal. This was my revenge. Leaving and letting go. This way I still never gave up on my love. There were good times when you acted right😐. Thank you for all the gifts you gave me💖, the ones I destroyed💔, the ones I kept and felt because I really loved you🤡. I actually never pictured I would this blog this way. Writing about some of the things we did right. I hope that my pain was worth your happiness. We are not perfect. I was the one to blame actually.

Peace will come if you allow it to. Healing happens if you accept and let go, it comes when you are READY.

Have you ever also stopped blaming it on them? Because I think you should.

I do not want to ever give someone the power to destroy me. I also do not want to stare at my phone waiting for someone to text (oh wait Yess I do want to be happy seeing some notifications pop up at my screen) but wait, aaah Never mind!

(Thanks for the time you spared to read this; I really hope it helped you.